Fergie

7/4/26
Happy 4th my sweet girl. ♥️🤍💙
No stupid fireworks to scare you tonight!
Mommy loves so much. 💕✨

❤️

6/22/26
Happy Birthday my sweet girl. ❤️ I hope there’s someone there who makes sure you get your cheeseburger today. 🥺 I miss you so very much and still think of you every single day. I hope you are getting your rest. Did you find Simba yet? Oh I sure hope so because he loved taking his naps with you. It still hurts. 💔 But I tried. And I know you did too. I love you so much. Please forgive me.
Mommy loves. Happy Birthday. 🎈❤️
6/22/08-6/22/26

5-19-26
1,461 days 😢

5-18-26

Exactly 4 years ago at this moment I somehow knew this would be our last night together. It was the worst day of my life. We went down to the beach in your buggy and just sat and you watched the water and the birds. I sang to you and talked to you and kissed you a thousand times and cried a million tears. I didn’t want it to be true. I just wanted you to be well and not be sick anymore. You were just so tired after your doctors visit that day. You didn’t want your dinner or your doodle bones when we got back, and that’s when I really knew. You always wanted your doodle bones. Even Pepper came in to say goodbye and you didn’t even growl. I stayed by your side every single second until the next morning. I didn’t want the night to end because I knew that was going to be it. For months I kept telling myself that when it was time, you would let me know. And that night you let me know. That night my heart started breaking and it hasn’t stopped since. Every day I think of you and I miss you. I miss my old life and the life we had together. I miss the way you would look at me like I was your whole world. You were mine. And always will be, even though you are no longer here with me.
Mommy loves forever and always.
Until we meet again. 💔😢 Watch for me.

5-2-26

Almost another year without you…
and somehow, I still look for you like you just stepped out.

It’s strange how time keeps moving…
but this part of my heart stays right there—
the day you left.

I thought it would get easier.
People say it does.

And maybe it has…
a little.

The tears don’t come as suddenly.
The silence doesn’t feel quite as sharp.

But you?
I still miss you the same.

I still think about the way you’d wait by the door…
like I was the best part of your day.
The way your paws followed me everywhere,
never too far… never too close… just enough to remind me
I wasn’t alone.

Now the house feels different.
Not empty… just missing something it can’t replace.

You.

I passed your favorite spot today.
Stopped without even thinking.
Like my body remembers you
even when I try to keep going.

And in that moment…
it didn’t feel like 4 years.

It felt like yesterday.

But then… there are these small things.

Little signs I can’t explain.

A dream where you’re right there again…
healthy, happy, whole.
A sudden warmth when the room should feel cold.
A memory that hits at just the right time…
like you’re reminding me you never really left.

So maybe this isn’t just another year without you.

Maybe it’s another year of loving you
in a different way.

Quieter.
Softer.
But still just as real.

And maybe… wherever you are…
you’ve been counting too.

Waiting.
Watching.

Keeping a place for me.

Until the day comes
when time doesn’t separate us anymore.

Another year has almost passed…
but not a single day
has taken you from my heart.

Not one.

Forever mine…
no matter how many years go by. 🌈🐾❤️
Mommy loves and misses so much. 💔😢

💔😢
Love you my sweet girl. Forever.

4-18-26
❤️

4-16-26

The way you stayed…
even when your body was tired…
even when moving hurt more than you ever showed.

You still came to me.

Still wagged your tail…
still followed me from room to room…
still looked at me like I was your whole world.

And maybe I was…

but you were mine too.

I think about those last days now…
the quiet strength in your eyes…
the way you leaned into me, just a little more…
as if you knew time was slipping.

You didn’t run from the pain.

You stayed through it.
For me.

For one more moment…
one more touch…
one more chance to love me while you could.

And that breaks me…
in the softest, deepest way.

Because that’s what love looks like, isn’t it?

Choosing someone…
even when it hurts.

Even when it would’ve been easier
to let go sooner.

You chose me.

Over the pain.
Over the fear.
Over everything.

And now…
when I think I can’t carry this loss…

I remember you did something harder.

You carried your pain
so I could feel your love
just a little longer.

So I’ll carry this now…
this missing, this ache, this quiet…

because loving you
was always worth it.

And it always will be. 🐾

Mommy loves and misses so much. ❤️

3-29-26

I keep thinking about the last days…
how your body grew tired
before your spirit ever did.

You still tried.
Still looked at me the same way.
Still wagged your tail… even when it hurt.

And I hated that part the most—
loving you so much
but not being able to make you whole again.

I remember holding you…
feeling every breath like it mattered more than anything.

Because it did.

There’s a kind of helplessness
that comes with loving a soul you can’t save.

A quiet breaking…
that doesn’t make a sound
but never really stops.

But lately…
I’ve been thinking differently.

What if you’re not broken anymore?

What if somewhere beyond this ache…
you’re running the way you used to?

No stiffness.
No pain.
No slow steps trying to keep up with a world that moved too fast.

Just you…
free again.

Whole again.

Maybe there’s a meadow I can’t see yet—
soft grass, warm light, endless space…

And you’re there.

Running.
Resting.
Waiting.

Not hurting.

And maybe…
that’s the part my heart is learning to hold onto.

Not the moment I lost you—
but the place where you were made whole again.

So when it hurts…
I try to picture you there.

Strong.
Happy.
Complete.

Because love like ours
doesn’t end in broken pieces…

It finds a place
where everything is restored.

And maybe one day—
I’ll meet you there.

Where nothing aches.
Where nothing is missing.

Where you are…
whole again. 🌈🐾❤️

Mommy Loves and misses so much.. 💕

3-13-26
The hardest kind of love is the one that asks you to let go.
Not because you stopped loving them…
but because you loved them too much to let them suffer.

I remember those final days.

Your eyes were still the same.
Still full of trust.
Still looking at me the way you always had — like I was your whole world.

But your body was tired.

The dog who once ran through the yard with endless joy…
the one who greeted every morning like it was a celebration…

was growing quiet.

Your steps slowed.
Your breathing became heavier.

And every time I looked at you, my heart broke a little more.

Because I knew something you didn’t.

I knew love was about to ask me for the bravest thing I’d ever do.

People call it a decision.

But it never felt like that.

It felt like standing at the edge of heartbreak
and choosing mercy anyway.

I held your head gently in my hands.

I whispered your name the same way I had a thousand times before.

You looked at me with those trusting eyes…
the ones that had followed me through every season of life.

And in that moment, I realized something powerful.

You weren’t afraid.

You trusted me.

Completely.

That trust was the greatest gift you ever gave me.

So I kept my promise.

I stayed beside you.

I held you close.

I told you that you were the best friend I had ever known.

And when the moment came…

I didn’t let you go alone.

Love walked with you to the very last breath.

For a long time afterward, the grief was heavy.

Because the heart always wonders.

Did I do the right thing?

Could I have held on longer?

But slowly, something gentle begins to rise through the sadness.

Understanding.

Mercy is not the opposite of love.

Mercy is love… in its most courageous form.

It is choosing peace for the one who trusted you most.

It is protecting them even when it breaks your own heart.

And now when I imagine you…

I don’t see the pain anymore.

I see you running freely through a wide meadow beneath an endless sky.

Your body light again.
Your eyes bright.

No stiffness.
No tired steps.

Just joy.

Maybe somewhere in those peaceful fields you still remember that final moment.

Not as sadness.

But as the last act of love we shared together.

Because you trusted me to keep you safe.

And even in goodbye…

that promise was never broken.

Mercy is love.
I’m so sorry.

And love like ours never truly ends. 🐾

I love and miss you so much my sweet girl. 💔🥺🌈#untilwemeetagain

💔😢🌈

2-14-26
Happy Valentine’s Day my sweet girl. ❤️
Mommy loves and misses you so much. 😢

1-6-26
Mommy loves and misses so much.
💔🥺

❤️

❤️

❤️

❤️

❤️

❤️

December 2025
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
my sweet sweet girl.🎄🎅🏻✝️

I put your stocking out again. It still has your treats and your toy in there. Your gift went beside the tree. It was your sweater that you never got to wear because it was so warm that last Christmas. I thought of you when I set everything out because you weren’t there on the couch watching me like you always did every year. It still hurts so much. It feels like I’m leaving you behind every time a new year starts. I got you a new garden sign for the gate, one that won’t rust… “Fergie’s Garden”. It’ll always be your garden. And you’ll always be here in my heart and in every tear that I still cry every day. I hope you are resting well. I’ve had the flu for the past week and I’ve missed my little nurse. You were always right here beside me and I miss that more than words can ever say. I knew it would hurt, I just didn’t know it would hurt this much for so long. I’m posting some pictures/memes I saved during the month because they reminded me so much of you and the way I feel. I love you and can’t wait until we see each other again. Mommy loves so much and misses so much. 💔😢

💙Forever💙

❤️

11-27-25
Happy Thanksgiving sweet girl ❤️

You walked beside me for years,
but somehow your biggest footprints
landed inside me—
in the places where love becomes life,
where grief becomes tenderness,
where memory becomes heartbeat.

I think that’s why you never feel far.
Because you’re not.
You’re right here—
in the thud that keeps me moving,
in the hush between breaths,
in the warmth that rises
when I speak your name into the quiet.

You left pawprints on my floor,
on my blankets,
on my favorite memories…
but the ones in my pulse
are the ones that stayed.

And when the day comes
far down the road
when my own heartbeat slows
and quiets
and softens—
I like to think yours will be the first rhythm
I hear again.
A joyful thumping,
a familiar warmth,
a reunion written in love.

Until then, my sweet soul,
keep living inside my pulse.
I’ll listen for you
every single day.

Mommy loves. 💔😢

💔

10-10-25
Day 1248

I still think of you every day my sweet girl. I took you to Goldsboro yesterday to see brother Boo for his birthday lunch. I always take you with me on my road trips because it wouldn’t be the same without you there by my side. My heart still has a big hole in it. I talk to you every day. Can you hear me? PLEASE come see me again. Mommy loves so much. I can’t wait to see you again. 💔

9-19-25
Day 1219

My sweet angel, I’m so sorry I had to let you go. It breaks my heart every time I think of that moment, and I hope you understand it was out of love, not weakness. I wanted to hold on to you forever, but I couldn’t stand to see you suffer.

You gave me a lifetime of love, comfort, and companionship, and I’ll always feel the emptiness of your absence. Please forgive me for the choice I had to make, I only wanted you to find peace, free from pain.

I will carry you with me in every breath, every memory, and every tear. You weren’t just my pet, you were my family, my heart, and my home. I love you, and I always will. 💔🐾

9-8-25
Day 1209
💔
I heard a sad song today and cried for you. I took your purple blanket out this weekend to smell of you. Your smell is still there slightly. I’m scared it’s going to be completely gone but in my mind I will never forget it. I love and miss you so so very much. My heart still aches for you every single day and night. I miss your snuggles and your kisses. Mommy loves so much. Wait for me and watch for me. Until we meet again. 💔😢🌈

Happy 17th Birthday in Heaven sweet girl June 22, 2025. ❤️🎈

Day 1,170
Oh sweet baby girl, it still hurts so much. 💔😢 I haven’t visited since May- I didn’t visit on your birthday but I lit your candle and took pictures. It still hurts and I miss you so much. Lincoln still won’t sleep with me but Pepper is still here every night. Maybe Lincoln knows you wouldn’t approve? When you feel it is ok please send him my way. I’m awfully lonely in here. I still look for your little head every morning when I wake up on the pillow next to me. I had a dream about you a few nights ago. It upset me terribly. You didn’t look too good and it only made me worry more. I love and miss you so much. Mommy loves. ❤️💔😢🌈

Sometimes I still sit in the same spot where we used to rest together, and if I close my eyes, I can almost feel the weight of your head on my knee and hear the soft rhythm of your breath beside me. The world keeps moving, but part of me is frozen in those quiet moments we shared, just you and me, no words needed. Losing you left an emptiness I can’t explain, like a part of my soul wandered off with you when you crossed the rainbow bridge. But on days like this, when the sky is gentle and the air still, I feel you here. I sense your presence in the silence, in the wind, in the ache of my heart. Maybe you’re gone from sight, but you never really left. You're still watching the world with me, still sitting quietly by my side, just like you always did.

May 19, 2025
3 years
1,096 days

-Facebook post

Three years ago at this very moment, I was living the most traumatic day of my life and at the time felt like I was suffocating in my own tears. She tried so hard to hold on, she never cried or made a sound, just kept staring at me while I talked and sang to her. I closed my eyes for a second to wipe the tears and when I looked back, she was gone. In the beginning I kept being told the pain eases over time and that it gets better. They lied. Time marches on and waits for no one. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t cross my mind and I’m patiently waiting for the time to come when my heart doesn’t feel like it’s shattered in a million pieces. I sometimes (try) to read the FB memories that pop up daily and I’m so grateful for the me that dared to write it down and share the last year of her journey. I know to a lot of you she was just a dog but to me, she was my whole world when I had no one else. She was a little furry angel who gave me the courage seven years ago to make some hard life choices that I otherwise wouldn’t have been brave enough to make on my own. IYKYK. I will forever be grateful to the little white dog who was scared of everything who taught me how to be strong again. We just ran out of time. Lincoln has been nothing less than amazing and my new little best friend. He makes me laugh again and definitely keeps me on my toes. He’ll never be Fergie and that’s ok because she can never be replaced. I know now that she wanted me to be ok and I don’t feel like having him is wrong anymore. The love they give is worth it even though it’s going to hurt like hell again in the end. And in the meantime, I keep telling myself-we just have a little bit more to do down here until we get to spend forever with them up there. ❤️‍🩹
#untilwemeetagain

💔

April 19, 2025
1,066 days

They told me it would get easier. They lied. These are the days I try to think about now. You and me and that little pink buggy of yours. We went so many miles. One more month and it will be 3 years. I can’t believe it because it still feels like yesterday but yet it feels like a lifetime ago. I haven’t walked since you went to heaven. I tried but I couldn’t do it. I need to make myself start because mommy is sick now. I found out 2 months ago I have Diabetes and I have been very sick. I need to start exercising. Did I tell you I have gone back to work? Just part time. It gets me out of the house. I’m slowly coming out of this depression (I think). Everything has changed so much since you’ve been gone. Corey doesn’t call or come around anymore. He and Bridgette split up back in September. Sam started a new job so he won’t be coming to NC anymore. I’ll bet you’re glad you don’t have to see me cry over him anymore huh? Nana died 6 months after you. Have you seen her there? Papa died in October. Not sure if he’s there or not. He wasn’t very nice to me at the very end. Your dad is still here working from home but we don’t talk much anymore. Pepper is still here right by my side and hasn’t left me since you went to heaven. Lincoln and Gabbi are still here wild as ever but they don’t love me like you did (do). Can you see me? Do you hear me talk to you? I’ve gone out to your garden twice this week. The rose bushes have all bloomed and it’s beautiful out there. Can you see them? Please come back and see me. Send me another sign. It’s been a while. Or did I miss it? I hope you are resting and watching for me. I’ll see you soon. Mommy loves you so very very much. Thank you for loving me back so much. If you see Jesus, please tell Him to help me. I’m so sad. Mommy loves you my sweet girl.
❤️💕😢💔🌈🐾

March 19, 2025
1,033 days

I’m still grieving from losing you… I just don’t talk about it as often. Some days, the weight of your absence feels heavier than others, but I’ve learned to carry it quietly, in the corners of my heart where only I can feel it. The world keeps moving, and so do I, but there are moments when the memories rush in, and it’s like losing you all over again.

I miss the sound of your paws, the way you’d curl up beside me, and the comfort of knowing you were there. Now, there’s just silence where you used to be. People say time heals, but I think it just teaches us how to live with the ache. You’re always on my mind, even when I don’t say it out loud.

I don’t know if the pain will ever go away, but I do know that you’ll always be a part of me. Somewhere, somehow, I hope you know how much you’re still loved and how deeply you’re missed. You were more than a pet—You were my best friend. Mommy loves. Watch for me. 💔

💔

❤️

❤️

February 19, 2025
33 months
1008 days

Still missing my girl. Every. Single. Day. 💔😢
Mommy loves and misses you so much.

January 20, 2025
32 months
976 days

Happy New Year my sweet girl 💔
Another number that changes on the calendar and takes me further away from you. Facebook memories are there every single day and this one was always one of my favorites. Some days I can look, some days I still cannot. When will it ever stop hurting? Never, it seems. I still think of you every single day. It’s suppose to snow here tomorrow and I was remembering earlier today of you playing in it when you were a puppy. You had on your pink sweater so we wouldn’t lose you in the snow. You only saw snow 2-3 times in your lifetime. Although Pepper is still here every night beside me, I still miss your sweet head on my pillow beside me. I hope you are getting your rest and playing in the grass. I love you so very much. Please watch for me. Soon my sweet girl, soon. Mommy loves. 💕

December 25, 2024
31 months
952 days

Merry Christmas in Heaven my sweet precious girl. 🎄🎅🏻🦌⛄️❄️
This was our 3rd Christmas without each other but I still put your stocking out again and your last present that has your sweater in it that you couldn’t wear because it was too warm that last year. 😢 I will continue to do so every year just like I promised. You will NOT be forgotten, I promise!!! I put the little tree up and I missed you so much lying there on the couch watching me and I also decorated your outside garden with your little tree and decorations. My heart still breaks every single day. I wake up and still look for you. I felt you wake me up in the middle of the night nosing the back of my leg! Thank you!! 💕 Please do it again soon!! I know you see Lincoln and Gabbi here but Lincoln still doesn’t sleep with me but Pepper still lays by my side. We both miss you terribly. I hope you’re not too upset about the others being here. They needed someone to take care of them and love them and one day soon, we will be together again. I love you and miss you and think of you every single day a thousand times. Please come see me again but also, continue to get your rest. Is Simba with you? Are y’all snuggling like you always did when it got cold? Mommy loves so much and Merry Christmas. Until we meet again. 🎄

November 19,2024
30 months
915 days

Blowing kisses to heaven you my sweet girl, 💔😢 I miss you so much. Mommy loves. I can’t wait until we are together again. 💕

October 19, 2024
29 months
886 days 😢

To my sweet girl Fergie,

I miss you more than words can say. In my lowest moments, I still reach out, expecting to feel the warmth of your fur or the gentle nudge of your nose against my hand. You always seemed to know when things weren't right, sensing my mood without a single word spoken. You'd come sit beside me, your eyes full of understanding, offering a kind of comfort that only you could give.

It's hard without you here. The house feels different—quieter, emptier. I miss your playful antics, the way you'd tilt your head when I talked to you, as if you were hanging onto every word. You had this special way of making me smile, even on the toughest days. Just your presence was enough to lift my spirits, to remind me that I wasn't alone.

You taught me so much about unconditional love and loyalty. You were always there, no matter what. I find myself cherishing the memories we made together—the long walks, the quiet evenings, the simple joy of just being in the same space. Even though you're gone, the impact you had on my life remains. I carry your love with me, and it gives me strength. I hope, wherever you are, you know how much you meant to me. 💔

September 19, 2024
28 months
855 days 😢

Mommy loves you sweet girl. I miss you every single day. 💔

August 19, 2024
27 months
823 days

But I wasn’t ready. 😢 I’m still not ready for you to be gone. I miss you every single day my sweet girl. Please wait and watch for me. Mommy loves. 💔😢

July 19, 2024
26 months

Dear friends,
I need to share a piece of my soul with you. It's about a love so profound, it feels like the universe itself wept when it ended. Fergie wasn't just a pet; she was my heartbeat wrapped in fur, my confidante, my constant companion. For 14 years, she filled my days with a joy I never thought possible. They say dogs are a man's best friend, but Fergie was more than that; she was my guardian angel in fur.
Then came the day when shadows crept into our sunlit world. Fergie fell ill. Kidney failure. The cruelty of it all crashed upon me like a relentless storm. How could I watch her suffer, my sweet Fergie, whose every wag of the tail spoke of unconditional love? I made the decision no soul should ever have to make. I held her close as she drifted away, whispering words of love and comfort, trying to convey that everything would be alright, even as my heart splintered into a million shards of grief.
In the aftermath, I was adrift in an ocean of tears. For five long days, time blurred into nights, and I found no solace in the passing of time. How could I, when every moment without her felt like a betrayal of her memory? They say time heals all wounds, but I've come to realize that some wounds never truly close. Fergie took a piece of me with her, leaving behind an ache that refuses to be soothed.
Yet amidst the darkness, there are glimmers of light. Her pillow, soft and worn from countless nights of tears, still carries the warmth of her face. A necklace, holding not just her ashes but fragments of my shattered heart, rests against my skin like a talisman of love. And etched upon my skin, a permanent reminder of our bond—a paw print, a symbol of a love that transcends the boundaries of time and space.
Loss is a journey we must all embark upon, each in our own way. And though the road may be fraught with pain and sorrow, I find comfort in the knowledge that Fergie’s spirit walks beside me, guiding me through the darkness. So, I'll keep her memory alive in the gentle rhythm of my tears, in the whispered words of love that linger in the air, and in the quiet moments when I feel her presence beside me. Mommy loves. Until we meet again my sweet precious girl.
💔😢🐾🌈

6/22/24
Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl. I’m sorry we can’t have our cheeseburgers tonight. I hope you are resting and playing and happy. I miss you so much. Please watch for me. 😢 Mommy loves so very much.

5/19/24 2 years
(731 days)
2 years ago at 9:30 a.m. my heart shattered into a million pieces. This was our last car ride. We had been up all night. You coughed and struggled to breathe all night long. I will never forget it and still replay our last night together almost everyday in my mind. I somehow knew you wouldn’t be coming back home with me. I knew this was your last ride. I couldn’t save you. It still hurts like it was yesterday. Time changes nothing. I miss you just as much today as I did the day you left. You left a void that can never be filled and I still wake up with you on my mind every morning. I look for you every day. I cry every night. 1-2-3 shake shake shake I love you and kiss your box and look at your pillow where your head should be. When I told you I would be ok, I lied. I’m still not. I love and miss you so much my sweet beautiful girl. Please keep waiting and watching for me. Until we meet again. Mommy loves. 💔😢 I still can smell you.

4/19/24
23 months
In grieving you, I grieve the part of me who didn’t know such loss. In the quiet moments I miss you the most, when it was always just us. In your eyes was the most innocent creature I have ever known. In my memories and in my heart is where I now hold you. And in all the things you loved, that is where I find you. I love you Fergie Doodles. Always my sweet girl. 💕 Mommy loves so very much.

3/19/24
22 months. Another month gone by. I’m so lost without you. I pray every day you are ok and getting rest and running and playing with your friends. It’s so lonely here without you…even with Lincoln here. I’m sorry. I still love you more. Always.
Mommy loves. Please wait and watch for me. ❤️

2/19/24
Day 640. 21 months. I wrote 19 months by accident last month. I’m so sorry I got that wrong. It’s coming up on 2 years already. How can that be? I still look for you every single day. It’s so quiet. I didn’t realize how much I talked to you until you weren’t here. And I still cry. It still hurts like none other. When does it stop? Never. Ever. I always knew I could never live without you and I’ve almost lived up to it. You were and are my special special girl. The most wonderful creature I ever encountered in my life and for 14 years, the only time I was ever truly happy. I miss your smell and putting my face in your thick white fur. I miss you beside me here on the bed. Lincoln doesn’t like to sleep with me. He sleeps on the couch with dad but Pepper still lays here. We kiss you goodnight every single night and shake 1-2-3. I.Love.You. Forever. Still waiting on another visit. As always, please wait for me. I cannot wait until we are together again. Mommy loves you so much my sweet wonderful precious girl. ❤️ I miss you so much and my heart is still in a million pieces. Thank you for loving me.